Dying Mice in a Poison Gas Chamber

If you take off those pink glasses that cover your eyes, you see that every one's life is just a huge delusion of convenient truths and elaborate lies. In such a world, you realise truth is hardly an anodyne. On the contrary, it's the sledge hammer of Thor, capable of destroying everything it touches unless wielded with responsibility and caution. Especially to those who are healing their wounds with their magical potions of delusion.

It's not the first time in my life that I've come across crumbling people bandaging themselves in miles of delusions. To state the fact, i myself have been one. A very big one at that. So i am hardly any one to advise anything about the same. What i share, is just a collation of my experiences and the lessons I've learnt from them.

Yes of course, those who still continue to live in their delusions would like to continue thinking happy thoughts, wondering about nice places and creating their own sanctuary in their mind. And deriving totally different perspectives of the same experiences. And they have the right to do so, after all, it's their self preservation - struggling against the truth like white mice trapped in a small gas chamber quickly filling with poison gas. Struggling to take the only vent out - and later realize that it only leads to a chamber with slowly heating boiling oil that'll let them live a while longer while it sears them down to their flesh. And bone.

The catch is, the poison gas is one that our bodies can get accustomed to and learn to adapt to. The poison gas is the truth. The poison gas is oxygen. Too much of it in isolation, is highly combustible. It will burn our lungs apart. The suffocation we feel is our incapability to accept it.
The truth will hurt. The truth will make life uncomfortable. But it is the option i'd prefer to choose as compared to drowning in a pool of drowning delusions.

Over time it seems we learn to take that oxygen in moderation, with all else around. Overtime it seems, we eventually learn that the 'poison gas' is in fact what keeps us alive. What matters is how we take it.

The gift and curse or hatelessness

Hatelessness?
is there even a word like that. I guess not. But the feeling, sure is. Which makes the word so profound in itself - its inexistence in language defines its meaning. Its nature.
Not all things in the world are known and defined by the world. May it be relationships, feelings, beliefs or situations in life.

I've lived like a fool. Loved like a fool. Won like a fool. Lost like a fool. Yes i've been a fool. But in my foolish journeys between my experiments with life, i've learned some really valuable lessons. And they, thanks to my experiences - as rich as they can be in their poorness, are priceless. The most important lesson by far may be the understanding of the nature of Hatelessness.

Having a heart that loves easily and deeply comes with a caution. A caution I've learned only with time. A caution to not let only the heart make promises for your body and mind. The three are separate, living in unision, yet SEPARATE. Not understanding that can cause a lot of harm. To everything and everyone around. Yet most of which would be to yourself. To your sense of self and your peace of mind.

Where does hatelessness figure in this?
Well, when you love, you just love. You don't think. And when you start thinking, expectations come up, stereotypes come up, the world starts showing up in your feelings. People start chaining your feelings to your actions. The world wants your feelings to be the way the world defines it. but it is not always possible. And sometimes the best choice is to just accept the feelings and cut away the expectations. Yours and that of others.
And in this, the incapability to hate can seem like a curse, unless you learn to look at it like a boon. Its like a strange gift that only reveals its value when you've suffered it enough to understand the power of it.
If you love the person, love them - no matter what. It dosen't mean you have to love them the way the world says love should be. There are so many relationships the world just cannot explain. Does that mean they dont exist? Does the fact that i do not live with a person MEAN that i do not love that person? Does the fact that im miles away from someone for years mean that my heart dosent care for them? It doesnt. never will.
That's where hatelessness comes in.

There are so many times when your feelings will be put down, just because they don't fit the stereotypes others have built in their head. Your feelings will be disregarded because they are not understood by others. And there are times it would make you feel that its best not to feel at all. but the truth is, your heart will feel. no matter how much you supress it, it will feel again.
You can't blame others for living in their world f stereotypes. The fact is, even you have your own. And you probably always will. It comes of being human. The only thing you can do is just let the feeling be. And not disrespect it yourself. Not hate the person who you felt for but couldnt understand your feelings. Coz its not their fault. Be hateless.

Yes, it doesn't come easy. It makes you vulnerable. But that's what it is like. Its a gift, its a curse. It's how you take it.
Wih time, when you've known it better, you'll understand the peace it brings. Maybe you'll better appreciate the fact that it is this 'weakness' of hatelessness that actually strengthns the best in you. Strengthens the heart within you, to be open and true. Free of malice. And yet as loving as ever.

It's the weakness of hatelessness that keeps you loving. It time, that's what really keeps you living.

Don't know if you understand all that i'm rambling, but maybe that's coz that's how complicated it is. It dosent come to you, unless you've experienced it yourself. Hope it brings you as much calm as it does to me. this funny thing i call 'hatelessness'.

Cheers!
Pushkaraj Shirke

Kalaripayattu - The basic (gruelling) routine

Here's how a normal routine at the kalari class is going (and killing the hell out of me!):

Start:
1. Warm up and stretching exercises
2. Jumps (front and side)
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Basics:
3. Single front kicks
4. Front kick + Back kick + Turn
5. Side kicks
6. Slap kicks
7. Front kick + side kick + slap kick
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Snake Movements & Katas:
8. Front kick + Sit
9. Front kick + Sit + Defend and turn + Sit + Defend and turn + Sit
10. Circular d+ Vertical chop (x4)
11. Circular d+ Vertical chop + Horizontal chop (x4)
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Others:
12. Kalari Namaskar (namaskar + defend + namaskar + right kick + namaskar + left kick + namskar + sit + Aasan + Hanuman namaskar + Garuda namaskar + Lotus + Back step stretch + Defend + Left kick + namaskar + Right kick + namaskar + Left kick + namaskar)
13. Lizard Walk
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Finish:
14. Stretches
15. Cool down excercises

By the end of it, its draining, i sweat like a pig and drenched to my bone (major understatement), parched even after consuming a bottle full of water, and feeling like i've just given my body the best possible workout that it could have attained. Absolutely fabulous.
Looking forward to many more gruelling practice sessions in the future :) Wish i can continue this all the way - for years together!

In my next note, i'll put down my obeservations of Kalari as compared to the other martial arts i've learnt. It is shockingly undifferent in many senses!

Till then, Ciao!

A deviation to Kalarippayattu - The mother of all martial arts

Kalarippayattu - the art of war in session
An early legend in martial arts tells the tale of a South Indian Pallava prince turned monk named Bodhidharma (also called Daruma), believed to have lived around 550 A.D. The martial virtues of discipline, humility, restraint and respect are attributed to this philosophy.

The Shaolin Monastery was built by the Emperor Xiaowen of the Northern Wei Dynasty in AD 477. Buddhabhadra (called Batuo in Mandarin), an Indian dhyana master becomes the first abbot of the Shaolin temple.

A shaolin monk in practice
KALARIPPAYATTU is considered the origin of all martial art forms across asia. From Shaolin Kung Fu, to Japanese Ninjitsu to Korean Taekwondo. All of them have been derived from this ancient Indian art. Given a chance to learn this art was one thing i just couldnt let go.

So, to hell with my fitness regime for the moment. Right now I'm on a crash course in the mother of all martial arts. And i must say its killing me with exhaustion - JUST THE WAY I LIKE IT :)

Will keep you posted on the proceedings :)

From Flab to Fab - The Weekend Binge Disaster!

3 day weekend.
No gym. No excercise. Loads of Play Station 2.
Tons of good food.
You get the point -DISASTER!!!!!

have to work-out my way through it today - redemption!!!!! here i come!!!!

From Flab to Fab - My First Date with Ferra (day-1)

Finally it happened! 2 hours of pure bliss.
Just me and the iron. An hour of slow and heavy. An hour of fast and vigourous.
To keep it intresting and fun all through - i decided to mix it up everytime.

Dedicated the day to the back. But i'm gonna break up each day into : one Muscle + 1 random excercise routine.
For eg: this time for One hour i went on to heavy weights for the back - 10
reps each.
The next hour i dedicated to Boxing exercises like hook punches with weights, swaying with weights and punches with dumbells.


Pic: Now this is where i aim to get at the end of 30 days - fingers crossed :)
The mixing seems to be a lot of fun. and bloody good excercise. The weight training helps build muscle. The random routine helps break the monotony and develop an additional feature like speed/agility/force/stamina.

Helps with my target too - The first hour, the muscle keeps growing - the next hour, the fat keeps burning :) It lends a major rush. Feels like i've worked out and pushed myself. The feeling is addictive. I love it! :D

I Plan to keep on this alternation of excercises through the month.
Let's see how well it helps me stay on track :)

Cheers to training - like hell n lovin it! :)

(btw - ferra = ferrous = Iron)